View Full Version : How does he have EVERYONE's mailing address? (1/30)

January 30th, 2007, 01:05 PM
I don't want to revisit yesterday's thread because the things I was accused of still make me angry. And quite frankly you should know me and the comic well enough to realize that this comic was coming. I won't say anymore about the issue because I'm likely to break my own forum rules. And we wouldn't want me to suspend my own account. I will instead jump right into answering the innevitable questions.


I have no idea how Ted knows all the people he does. Venturing guesses only leads to more questions. So why would the Pope sign the letter "Bingo"? The way I figure it, it's his game handle. Saying Pope Benedict XVI over XBox Live would be tough so it would likely be shortened to B16. And clever gamers would most likely take it one step farther.

I have to say, if the Pope was ever a gamer, it'd probably be an incredibly entertaining game session: blessing the controller, throwing holy water at the screen, making bets that if he loses he'll eat his hat. You know... the usual. And that notion lead me to ask myself: if you could pick one famous individual to play video games with who would it be and what game? This is tough for me because there are so many famous people I'd like to meet. In the end I decided that I'd play Sir Ian McKellan in any kind of racing game. That way every time he fended me off from getting in front of him he could shout "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

The coffers of my geekdom would be immediately filled, and I could die happy.

Today's Pimpage: Ted is wearing a "Pet Octopus (http://www.threadless.com/product/721/Pet_Octopus?streetteam=GU+Comics)" shirt from Threadless.Com (http://www.threadless.com/?streetteam=GU+Comics)

January 30th, 2007, 01:14 PM
I think I'd like to play some games with the developers of those games. I don't know if that qualifies as famous, I guess it depends on the developer. And mostly so I could see if a complete knowledge of every aspect of the game gives you any kind of advantage when playing, or if you need mad skillz.

January 30th, 2007, 01:16 PM
Whoa . . . Ted must have an address book the size of the DAOC Epic Edition Prima guide.


January 30th, 2007, 01:20 PM
The Pope plays Mario Kart? 8O

Scandal ! :)

January 30th, 2007, 01:21 PM
Wow, Ted just beat another limit of my "unexpectancy" levels.

Have the people from Guiness book called him already? Or are they also on Ted's address book, under a "don't call me, I'll call you" policy?

January 30th, 2007, 01:23 PM
I think I would have to play Toejam and Earl with the 3 stooges. If I had the choice.

January 30th, 2007, 01:25 PM
Wouldn't it be easier to call him Papa B? :)

January 30th, 2007, 01:31 PM
I dunno, PapaB is 3 syllables. Bingo is only 2. Not speaking for anyone else, but of the two options, I'd likely pick Bingo myself. It's more unexpected. Though... I'm probably biased since I called him that in the first place.

January 30th, 2007, 01:32 PM
Nice one Woody (thou shall not pass..) The write up was classic.

Oh the whole pope thing..I think everyone should try something before they pass judgement. So lets send hima Wii

and as for me.. I got into MMORPG because of an artical about Doug Glanville being ticked at Curt Schilling, cause he was training him in EQ. Wow long time ago. I would like to play (I assume a version of Poker with Kate Beckensdale or Kelly Brook doesn't count) so.. um... a shoot up game with ANULD.. maybe he can get one liners and of course, he would also have invincability on.

January 30th, 2007, 01:36 PM
I could picture the Pope playing Mario DDR. Now that brings a funny visual to mind.

January 30th, 2007, 01:39 PM
As to whom I would love to play a game with. Wow..... Ted would deffinately be the top of my list, with hopes that he kept his pants on...

January 30th, 2007, 01:41 PM
I'm a bit amazed at how fast Trans-Atlantic mail has gotten for the reply to have gotten to Ted by the next day. :)

Hmm, the iPhone's gonna have 4Gigs... Ted may need 2 to keep his address books in it.

PS: Bingo's a good handle, but to be specific, B-16 is not a valid Bingo number; the B's only go up to 15 then you get I-16 to I-30. But I still agree, Bingo's a good nick for him and close enough to the right Bingo numbers to let it slide.

January 30th, 2007, 02:06 PM
En Domnio Sanctus...All your bases are belong to us....AaAaMen!!!! :-)

January 30th, 2007, 02:12 PM
I have no idea how Ted knows all the people he does.
This brought to mind an old joke I heard many years ago when JP2 was still the Pope, and Bob Hope was still alive, so I'll tell it from that perspective, since it makes a better joke. And yes, it's clean.

Two rich men were having an argument at a party.
"I know everybody," claimed Schwartz. "and I can prove it."
"OK OK," says the other man. "You might know a lot of people, but you can't know EVERYBODY." So they decide to bet $1 Million on it. So Schwartz thinks of who he can show the man, and since they're in New York, they go see David Letterman. Schwartz and his friend are immediately let in to warm greetings from David, and they are entertained by him for the evening. After they're done, outside they talk again.

"See?" says Schwartz. "I know everybody."
"OK," says the other man. "It's pretty impressive that you know David Letterman, but that doesn't mean you know EVERYBODY."

Schwartz thinks some more, then they hop a plane to L.A. and go to Bob Hope's house. They are again immediately let in and greeted by Bob Hope himself, and entertained in his home for the day. The man is again very impressed, but after they're done, he reiterates that just because Schwartz knows Bob Hope, that doesn't mean he knows everybody. Schwartz thinks for a minute, and then they go on a plane to Rome, and drive to the Vatican.

Schwartz gets out and says, "Now I probably can't get you in to see the Pope, but I'll go out on the balcony with him as he delivers his Service, and you'll see me up there with him." The man says OK, and joins the crowd beneath the balcony. Schwartz goes inside and is immediately admitted to the Pope's chambers, who greets him warmly, and agrees to let Schwartz out on the balcony with him.

Down below, the friend sees Schwartz emerge on the balcony with the Pope and is quite impressed. "That really is amazing that he knows the Pope so well he can get on the balcony with him," he thinks, "but that still doesn't mean he knows EVERYBODY." Just then a little Italian guy in the crowd taps him on the arm.

The man looks down, and the Italian guy asks him: "Hey buddy? Who's that guy up there on the balcony with Schwartz?"

I've always loved that one.

January 30th, 2007, 02:13 PM
A few points of order, just because the comics are one day apart does mean the events necessarily have to be. Both the Pope's message and the Gamespot news item were poster January 24th. This is what I refer to as "Comic Continuity".

The response from the Pope could very will have been faxed. The comic and the writeup only indicate that Ted's letter was mailed not the Pope's. Though I admit in my mind they were both physically mailed.

I don't exactly think that most gamers would care that B-16 is not an actual Bingo number. Nicknames aren't necessarily beholden to literal fact. Like calling a big man Tiny, a bald man Curly. Thanks for the clarification though. Now we know, and knowing is half the battle.

January 30th, 2007, 02:17 PM
I'd want to play Super Smash Brothers with Shigeru Miyamoto.

January 30th, 2007, 02:21 PM
Terry Prachert. Don't care of the game, probably something fantasy related so.

January 30th, 2007, 02:32 PM
Gi Joe...

(Geesh I thought I was the only one who still said that one Woody...)

January 30th, 2007, 02:39 PM
I would LOVE to play Final Fantasy with the man who created it in the first place (can't remember his name, though). It would be cool to go treasure hunting on FF:CC and beat the Zombie Dragon together (it's called "dragon zombie" in the game, but I prefer to call it "zombie dragon"). Maybe we could play some Chocobo Racing too. I'd also like to do multi-player Ace Combat 5 with the president of Namco (can't remember his name, either).

January 30th, 2007, 02:53 PM
Been lurking for a long time, but thought I'd finally post because I've really enjoyed these last two comics. Nice one, Woody.

I'd love to play any kind of PvP game with Denis Leary for the face-melting smack talk that would ensue.

January 30th, 2007, 02:57 PM
Oh great now I am not going to be able to get Mario Kart out of my head for days . ..

I am going to have to hook up my old Nintendo system so I can play it (Mario Kart) because it is not available for download to the Wii yet.

January 30th, 2007, 03:03 PM
I would LOVE to play Final Fantasy with the man who created it in the first place (can't remember his name, though).

Hironobu Sakaguchi! :) Oooh. He'd be fun to play against! That or Tetsuya Nomura. For that matter, playing any creator against their game would be just plain cool.


January 30th, 2007, 03:07 PM
First, Ted knows everyone because while he may be dangerous at times, he is really harmless, and everyone likes someone who is harmless.

As for the game, Chuck Yeager and Flight Simulator. Last year, one of my projects invovled a full motion helicopter flight simulator and I got to fly with some Coast Guard pilots. That was a blast.

January 30th, 2007, 03:17 PM
Maybe not incredibly famous, but I would have loved to play "Aces of the Pacific" with Greg "Pappy" Boyington a true ace of the pacific.

January 30th, 2007, 03:19 PM
I would like to take on Eliza Dushku at a mario cart tournament

January 30th, 2007, 03:36 PM
Now that you mention it, I wouldn't mind playing the Pope over Xbox Live - he could hear my confession in between rounds of UNO, or something family friendly like that. I mean, he is the Pope.

January 30th, 2007, 03:51 PM
LOL old Ratzinger calling himself Bingo... *snicker*

You know with a name like Ratzinger, you've got to be good (shamelessly borrowed from Smuckers). :D

January 30th, 2007, 04:25 PM
being that the Pope is from Germany, I heard there was an edict changing the communion wine to communion beer. I wonder what political heavyweights actually do play video games. I could see Bush with Cheney doing some PVP against each other

January 30th, 2007, 04:47 PM
Hmmm, interesting question. I guess it would have to be Chiraq (President of France).

Just seeing him saying something like: Pwned nub! LOL! That would make my day, crude, harsh, small sentence, in english! That would mind blast me away, no matter if the nub in question is me!

January 30th, 2007, 05:09 PM
I could see Bush with Cheney doing some PVP against each other

Well yes, they have to play each other, everyone else would get the secret service knock on their door if they'd beat them in PVP :)

January 30th, 2007, 05:18 PM
Does the famous person have to be alive? If not, then either Guitar Hero game with Jimi Hendrix. If so, then... Hmm... Halo with Bill Gates, with a million dollar bet riding on the outcome.

January 30th, 2007, 05:42 PM
Haha, nice! I tend to think about this sort of thing all the time anyways lol. I'd want to play Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto in a rousing (and butt whooping for me) game of 'Battlefleet Pacific". Being in the wrong time/situation (And having to do what his emporer told him with no say) has cast a dim light on his brilliance in Naval warfare, being given a rotten egg and makeing a cake out of it. A game against him would just be the best schooling, and most fun I've ever had.

January 30th, 2007, 05:57 PM
Hehe, very funny, and for me, completely unexpected.

January 30th, 2007, 07:22 PM
i thought both comics ruled.

January 30th, 2007, 08:09 PM
every couple of months my GF asks if i every played EQ with Woody. So just so she would quit asking the same damn question i would like to play EQ with Woody ( and maybe even Ted ).

January 30th, 2007, 09:41 PM
Heeheehee...BOTH comics were cute. Especially the Pope using gamespeak. So, just how big a projection TV DOES the Popemeister have, Ted? The world wants to know!

January 30th, 2007, 10:16 PM
I think I would like to match up against Ghandi in Quake or Unreal Tournament. You just know that a man so widely known for peace has a lot of supressed rage and tension to be set free in a FPS.

January 31st, 2007, 12:26 AM
Keanu Reeves in Counterstrike would be very entertaining. "Hey, I shot you like 8 times! HAX!"

January 31st, 2007, 01:38 AM
Playing Dead or Alive with Angelina Jolie. *evil grin*

January 31st, 2007, 01:41 AM
What famous character would I like to play video games with?...
DAoC with Toast, of course!

Other than that, I wanna play any FPS against a navy seal.. that's oughta be interesting muaha

January 31st, 2007, 02:00 AM
DDR with scarlett johansson :P

i'll be watching, she'll be dancing... *whistles*

January 31st, 2007, 02:13 AM
"In the end I decided that I'd play Sir Ian McKellan in any kind of racing game. That way every time he fended me off from getting in front of him he could shout "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!""

That line right there made my morning LOL. Even better than the comic woody. A man of many comic talents...even when he is not trying to be.

January 31st, 2007, 02:38 AM
For historical people, either Soul Caliber III with Miyamoto Musashi or CivIV: Warlords with Sun Tzu.

With living folks, it's a toss-up between DDR with Kate Bekinsale, and Smackdown vs. Raw '07 with any three WWE wrestlers (playing themselves).

January 31st, 2007, 03:27 AM
Guitar Hero against Jimi Hendrix, Company of Heroes against George Patton, Pump it Up! with Charlize Theron, or Civ against James Burke.

That'd be fun.

TVs Frank
January 31st, 2007, 04:52 AM
I'd like to play some Wii with George Wendt.

January 31st, 2007, 05:51 AM
My question: if you play a racing game (or any game) with the Pope, do you let him win?

I'd hate to be excommunicated, even though I'm not Catholic :)

January 31st, 2007, 09:08 AM
I would love to see Slash playing sweet child of mine on guitar hero 2 expert and not getting a perfect score :)

January 31st, 2007, 11:47 AM
I could see Bush with Cheney doing some PVP against each other I hear cheney abuses the shotgun in halo2.

January 31st, 2007, 11:56 AM
I'm thinking the pope on X-Box live would be hilarious..

hearing this..maybe even in latin coming across in say halo or some other FPS...
Ye tho I walk thru the Valley of the Shadow of death, I shall fear NO evil.. for I am the baddest "pontiff" in the valley.

January 31st, 2007, 01:56 PM
Nascar 06 against real Nascar drivers or Tiger Woods in Tiger Woods PGA 07

January 31st, 2007, 02:56 PM
I'd rather have Ian as my math teacher or something. So he can give us incredibly hard tests, then shout "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!".


February 1st, 2007, 01:33 PM
Starcraft: Broodwar or Warcraft 3 with General Patton.