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View Full Version : 9 out of 10 Tonberries agree! (12/18)



Woody
December 18th, 2003, 01:38 AM
If you hit the Final Fantasy XI official site, and look under the Beastman Army in the Adversary section of the site... scroll down near the bottom, you'll find the Tonberries (http://www.playonline.com/ff11us/adversary/dark/index.html).

Here's a snippet of their description:

These tiny beastmen live solely in the Yhoator Jungle on the eastern half of Elshimo. The Tonberries possess a great deal of anger, or "rancor," in their hearts. It is this anger that binds them as a tribe while driving them to commit terrible acts against all other beings.

When I read that "great deal of anger, or 'rancor', in their hearts" part, I nearly fell over laughing. More from trying to figure why the hell rancor was in quotes than anything else.

Then again, every time I read anything on that site, I feel like I'm watching an adult try to read to a child. The quotes around rancor solidified that feeling for me. Almost as if the child was being told, via the quotes, to go look up the word in a dictionary.

But, I digress. I envisioned these guys walking around in a big village, filled with "rancor" in their hearts. Sharing communal greetings and well wishes:
"Kiss off Frank"
"Up yours too Chuck."
"I hate you all."
"Blow it out your ass."
"You too."

Going down those same lines my brain filled in more of the day to day goings on and decided that somethings might be taking it too far. Kind of like giving a negative review of Return of the King. **shrugs**

My brain at night... is a dangerous place. Especially after watching something like... oh... "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" and realizing that "Return of the King" is in the theatre. THAT realization brings bile to my mouth even now.

In the end, I've decided that Square and the NON-American people playing FFXI probably think we're Tonberries. And that telling us this like we're children... might still be over our heads.

So here's to Tonberries, my new favorite aspect of Final Fantasy XI.

John Dyne
December 18th, 2003, 01:53 AM
You know, after playing most all of the single-player Final Fantasies, it's very hard to imagine the tonberries as having anything resembling 'rancor' in their tiny, robe wearing, butcher-knife carrying hearts.

It's really hard for me to envision the little green guys who move forward a step at a time per turn so they can stab you with a 'doink' word bubble being vicious.

And I think they'd be sharing holiday greetings this time of year..
'Happy Hanukah, assface.'
'Bite my glittered red and green ass.'
'Have a great Kwanza, jerkface.'

Ciarin
December 18th, 2003, 01:54 AM
/chuckle

Nosferatu
December 18th, 2003, 01:55 AM
Feed the Tonberries to the Rancor Monster? (or am I getting that reference wrong?)

You should send an e-mail to Square, along the lins of, "I think the Tonberries are really entertaining, or "cool", to watch." *grin*

Velenka
December 18th, 2003, 01:55 AM
*cheers* Tonberries! :D

In previous FF games, they were too cute and seemingly harmless as they creep up to you, only to bust out the can o' whoopass on your spikey-haired party. They made them look a little more menacing, and dare I say it... Gollum-like... in FFXI.

Gnomish
December 18th, 2003, 02:14 AM
heeh...

zanfell
December 18th, 2003, 02:42 AM
lol woody great comic but
your post made it better
8)

Arishia
December 18th, 2003, 03:34 AM
*POIK*!

Love the Tonberries!

Mean little things, and I really do mean that. Nasty horrible, wicked, yet terribly cute little things. Even when they kill me in one shot in every one of their incarnations.

Hiddenprince
December 18th, 2003, 06:05 AM
They're not full of hatred, just misunderstood.

though oddly enough i can actually picture conversations between the other tonberrys.

HazeSti
December 18th, 2003, 06:22 AM
Tonberries were the scariest critters in any FF...

Tonberry: *steps forward*
Me: "Oh no, attack! Attack!"
Tonberry: *step sideway*
Me: "Phew, some time. Die!"
Tonberry: *steps forward*
Me: "Ahhhhh! Back off! Die!"
Tonberry: *steps forward*
Me: "... Uhoh"
Tonberry: "Doink!"


I never pictured them as angsty though. I though they were just cute little creatures with a lantern that enjoyed poking people real hard.

Nice comic :)

Beatroot The Druid
December 18th, 2003, 06:50 AM
I actually saw the "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King" last night when it opened.. And OMFG it was awsome. The end was such a tease.. just when you thought they were going to end the movie right there.. And without giving anything away.. If they had ended it right where it looked like they would.. ppl woulda been pissed.. ehehe .. But they show alot about what happens when they all go home and etc..

But all in all.. I loved the movie.. I also loved that the Dwarf and Elf are still counting how many they kill... But thier is one scene that is gonna make you laugh your head off .. And it is tied into thier counting thing.. eheh.. You'll see..

Final Thought.. GO SEE LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING!

You will be happy you did..


P.S. It just so happens that the ppl i sat in front of, were all EQ and AD&D players.. So you can imagine the conversations before the movie started.. hehe

Negdaien
December 18th, 2003, 06:55 AM
Tonberries!!! ahhh memories...when they were only 32bit...now....they're 3 dimensions of pure evvvvvil........hehehe

Shiach_gaidin
December 18th, 2003, 08:48 AM
Damn Glad i am way to low a level to get to Elshimo, I can't stand "rancor", but they are almost as cute as my TaruTaru

Cobble
December 18th, 2003, 09:34 AM
Can ya guess the name of the zone in which all the tonberries live?

Thats right........"Rancors Den"

which I find odd since its so big and tonberries are so........wee. lol

Kat
December 18th, 2003, 10:15 AM
Heh Rancor's Den.

I can picture the Rancor from Star Wars sitting in a well appointed room, in a big burgandy armchair with a pipe and a book. Soft classical music is playing on an old victrola. Then from the next room he hears the big creeky door leading to Jabba's dungeon start to open.

Exasperated, he marks his place in his book, set it down, and lays his pipe in the ash tray.

He fixes a snarl on his face and drools a bit. . .

"Showtime!" He says to himself as he heads into the pit.

Good comic Woody, I like your exchange between the Tonberries too. That made me laugh out loud.

ancarett
December 18th, 2003, 12:46 PM
No babysitter here so I, last night, watched League of Extraordinary Gentlemen rather than ROTK. If I'm one of those guys, I'm not full of anger and rancor. I'm just plain bitter! ;)

Takara
December 18th, 2003, 12:47 PM
Hey! I watched League of Extraordinary Gentlemen last night too...

*cue Twilight Zone music*

ancarett
December 18th, 2003, 12:51 PM
Oooo! That's a scary coincidence indeed, Takara.

/em looks over her shoulder

Keiran
December 18th, 2003, 05:23 PM
The tonberries are awesome. I saw them first in Final Fantasy 7. My bro was playing and he saw this little monster appear. We're both just expecting a normal battle. Then this thing takes a tiny step forward. Just a little step. We're looking, and suddenly we realize that if this little monster makes it to the party, some unknown awful thing is going to happen. He spent the next few seconds trying to kill it while I'm cheering the Tonberry on. He had the presence of mind to use Knights of the Round on the little guy though... Overkill, but it was funny to see him scrambling to take action before disaster struck.

Coffee
December 18th, 2003, 07:21 PM
Tonberry cobbler sounds good. Almost as good as the comic. I'm thoroughly unfamiliar with FFXI, but I can appreciate the artwork.

John Dyne
December 19th, 2003, 12:44 AM
I met my very first tonberry in FFVI. They looked a little more.. darker in that one. They only seemed to get goofier as they were modeled into 3D.

Dark Tyger
December 19th, 2003, 10:57 PM
On the subject of bad reviews for RotK:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/TheLordoftheRingsTheReturnoftheKing-1127213/reviews.php?page=1

5 bad reviews out of 164. :P And most of those are basically "It's boring!". oO Just goes to show that if you look through enough reviews, you'll find people who hated any movie. Works the same the other way around, though. Even the worst movies, you could probably find at least 1 good review for somewhere.

The one bad review that got me the most was someone who complained that the movie lacked "believability". C'mon, it's a friggin' FANTASY MOVIE. Oiy.