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Why don't they get it? (MMO/game-related)

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  • Why don't they get it? (MMO/game-related)

    Okay, little disclosure time. I've had some thoughts lately, and was curious if anyone else has had stuff like this happen.

    These past few days, as I listen to my old EQ themes on my MP3 player (some of them are actually pretty sweet pieces of music, and bring up some good memories), my thoughts drifted back to when I was still playing EQ itself, as well as my old guild, Tunare's Forsaken Few. I really enjoyed the group of people that were in it, and got along extremely well with several of the members. Sadly, it fell apart a few months before I left for WoW, but it's downfall is not the main issue. During these days, I recalled my mother always criticizing me for spending so much time playing EQ (note that, in her opinion, 2 hours or less on 3 weekdays and 4-8 hours on fridays and saturdays was considered too much) and why I didn't get out more, and be more active. I responded that the people I was playing with enjoyed my company, and I in turn enjoyed theirs, and that I considered many of them my friends.

    She responded with something along the lines of, "You've never met these people face to face before. That isn't much of a friend to me." This attitude has always bothered me, since there are instances of pen pals and such who seem to be counted as friends, despite being an identical situation. Although I attempted to counter with the fact that some of them had given names and ages, as well as a picture from one or two, she gave the typical line, "You can't be sure they're telling the truth" or whatnot. I can see her point, but I would like to think that my guildmates were better than that, and would not falsify such information.

    That is the first part. The second relates to the guild's eventual breakup. When I remembered some of the good times I had with my guild, it saddened me a bit when I realized that all that was in the past, and that I would more than likely never experience a guild like that again.

    I know some of you have gone through guild breakups, and I know that it affected you to some extent emotionally, as it did me. However, do you believe there is anyone around you who doesn't play MMO's and wouldn't understand your pain, or even go so far as to scoff at it or treat it as no big deal? I have a feeling my mother would be somewhat of that mind, and therefore was wondering if anyone else here knows people who are the same.

    The first section also applies. Do you know of anyone who doesn't understand that a closeness or friendship doesn't require you to have seen them in person?

    I thank you for all your responses, and hope my long-winded writing hasn't been too bothersome on the eyes.
    "Aha! As I suspected. Thirty-two flavors."

  • #2
    My kids are probably older than you. I probably think like your mother, but being a gamer who *does* understand as well as an old woman who's had way too much fun, I can pretty much say with certainty that you'll find another guild, and you'll love it just as much. It might take a while, but the bonding will happen. Patience, grasshoppah.

    (PS: I've met hundreds of people from online... literally hundreds. The vast majority lied to some degree, basically misrepresented themselves. Not saying your online friends aren't being true to your ideals, just relating my own experience. As a side note, I met the two best friends I've ever had (and still have) online. Not my spouse, though. I found him bent over an ice-cream freezer at Denny's.)
    I have nothing useful to say, really.


    • #3
      Despite some of my closest friends being in game, I've only met one person that I game with before. (you may know her as Swarfy). That experence was so...memorable....that I don't think it will be repeated.

      (::Prepares for beating)
      Sometimes I do an impression of myself. I can dress like myself, even act like myself sometimes.


      • #4
        Meh, I'm too much of a people-person, I like meeting people in person Granted, I've only met with a handful of people from here in person, most of the people I game with online are my meat-world friends as well.


        • #5
          I've met three of the people I've gamed with, one of which I am married to now hehe. One of the other two is still a good family friend, the other is in college and just young, so I'll let it slide, I remember being 19, of course I was pregnant at 19 so maybe I should say I remember 18 hehe
          "When you are courting a nice girl an hour feels like a second. When you sit on a hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity." ~Albert Einstein


          • #6
            Actually my mom was a little more gentle in the whole friends online thing, just so long as I didn't blow off RL for online friends...Mind you she finds the idea of online dating ubsured.
            ~Do not mess in the affairs of were-wolves, for you are crunchy and taste good with mead.~

            My writings here-


            • #7
              I've met a ton of the people I've gamed with. My first guild in EQ was really pretty close, and we had a real-life gathering where about a dozen of us got together in Texas (one from even as far away as Alaska). We had a second get together in Missouri where we had friends from Australia attend. And most of the folks are still pretty good friends despite having gone separate ways in post-EQ days.
              Carpe DM: Seize the Dungeon Master


              • #8
                While I havent meet anyone from online. I do have some friends online, sad thing is I talk more to my online friends then I do my RL friends, life tends to do that at times.


                • #9
                  Kinda weird for me. My dad is the one who got me hooked on EQ. He knew a group of people that was in his guild that lived in Baton Rouge. Well, when I moved back in with him for a year I became real good friends with one of them, Merti, and when I moved back to New Orleans we ended up meeting IRL. Since then it's been cool, she's kinda became my sister, lol. Sad thing is, she knows stuff about me that my mom will NEVER know, and neither will my dad. That's because I really confide in her. To this day she still calls me her "lil'brother". I met one of the other guys too, but I really don't remember him that much. Then when I came back I looked a friend up from the old guild, talked him for a while, and found out that 3 of my dad's good friends had died IRL...that was a shocker, and I had to be the one to call him to let him know. First time I really ever heard my dad cry


                  • #10
                    I talk to folks on-line, meet some, others scare me, as I am sure I may scare others. I have done the on-line dating thing, myspace, chat rooms, etc. Now I have been "on-line" for over 18 years, so over half my life I have been talking to "cyber" people.
                    I guess I have grown up knowing they are real people over there, but try not to confuse perception/fantasy with reality. That Hot Female Night Elf druid could be a guy. I have found that most people are 90% accurate to what they say, maybe a bit heavier, a bit goofier, a bit more subdued, but I consider them friends. I have Rl friends who I now talk to on-line more than in RL. It is part of today, it is our communication, we talk world-wide. in the past it was phone or mail, or you only met and talked to people in your local town. Now I ask, how many of you regulary talk to people 10,000 miles away and think nothing of it.
                    "Perfer et obdura; dolor hic tibi proderit lim"


                    • #11
                      I had the same experience when i first started playing EQ. I started playing the summer before my senior year of highschool (august of 2002) and i played off and on and never really got into guilds, and had a few people i just chatted with. Then i started playing on Tallon Zek with my RL friends that i played Dungeons and Dragons with, and but thats when i found a guild that everyone knew my name and liked me. The Spheres of Darkness, everyone was a shadowknight except for the few warriors and me, a lowely half-elf paladin named Blahl Binoa.

                      The guild i was with was great, everyone gave eachother stuff, we fought alongside each other, we helped those in the guild that needed help. Fun times where had by all, i even met some really great people, and everyone knew i could be trusted, i roleplayed a freaking paladin! (since it was PvP i never attacked unless i was attacked first and all that stuff) But after a year or so and i graduate highschool, the guild finally collapses due to one person. A halfling druid who was blamed for a raid that some other person that just got put into the guild messed up. We were raiding Mistmoore and when we entered, someone ran off and trained a large group, everyone was slaughtered right at the zone line cause of one person, and they blamed the druid (who was a very good friend of mine on the game not IRL). So they told him to go away and he killed one of the high officers, cause its a PvP server. Thus if you where caught talking to said druid, you where KoS and kicked out of the guild.

                      A month went by, and after hearing everyone in the guild hate on the one guy that did nothing but play a game (they said they called the officer all kinds of names and kept Corpse Camping her when he said that he didn't) i quit the guild and left, becoming a drifter on Norrath. Two weeks later, i was KoS and hunted down many a time. Thus i quit Eq for awhile, then when i went back on, i went back to my first server Ayonae Ro, and never really looked back, but i do remember the fun times i had with that guild.
                      Beorg Reghed LvL 33 Warrior of the Tribunal of Ayonae Ro (Taking a break from adventuring)
                      Thruinvorn,LvL26 Guardian of the Free Peoples of Middle-Earth, Landroval Server


                      • #12
                        The ones that get me are those people who believe they need to save you from your "addiction" and do so by tricking you into things. Like having a flat tire at convenient times, or having you over to try some baked bread that mysteriously takes a lot longer than it usually does.

                        As for myself, I have my friends, some online, some real. I feel my life is well balanced. I think that is the real important key. Still, there are people who want everyone around them to conform to their own view of how things should be.
                        What I do in my spare time.
                        "When the souls of the oppressed fight in the very air that rages, who can stand?" - William Blake