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9 out of 10 Tonberries agree! (12/18)

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  • 9 out of 10 Tonberries agree! (12/18)

    If you hit the Final Fantasy XI official site, and look under the Beastman Army in the Adversary section of the site... scroll down near the bottom, you'll find the Tonberries.

    Here's a snippet of their description:
    These tiny beastmen live solely in the Yhoator Jungle on the eastern half of Elshimo. The Tonberries possess a great deal of anger, or "rancor," in their hearts. It is this anger that binds them as a tribe while driving them to commit terrible acts against all other beings.
    When I read that "great deal of anger, or 'rancor', in their hearts" part, I nearly fell over laughing. More from trying to figure why the hell rancor was in quotes than anything else.

    Then again, every time I read anything on that site, I feel like I'm watching an adult try to read to a child. The quotes around rancor solidified that feeling for me. Almost as if the child was being told, via the quotes, to go look up the word in a dictionary.

    But, I digress. I envisioned these guys walking around in a big village, filled with "rancor" in their hearts. Sharing communal greetings and well wishes:
    "Kiss off Frank"
    "Up yours too Chuck."
    "I hate you all."
    "Blow it out your ass."
    "You too."

    Going down those same lines my brain filled in more of the day to day goings on and decided that somethings might be taking it too far. Kind of like giving a negative review of Return of the King. **shrugs**

    My brain at night... is a dangerous place. Especially after watching something like... oh... "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" and realizing that "Return of the King" is in the theatre. THAT realization brings bile to my mouth even now.

    In the end, I've decided that Square and the NON-American people playing FFXI probably think we're Tonberries. And that telling us this like we're children... might still be over our heads.

    So here's to Tonberries, my new favorite aspect of Final Fantasy XI.

  • #2
    You know, after playing most all of the single-player Final Fantasies, it's very hard to imagine the tonberries as having anything resembling 'rancor' in their tiny, robe wearing, butcher-knife carrying hearts.

    It's really hard for me to envision the little green guys who move forward a step at a time per turn so they can stab you with a 'doink' word bubble being vicious.

    And I think they'd be sharing holiday greetings this time of year..
    'Happy Hanukah, assface.'
    'Bite my glittered red and green ass.'
    'Have a great Kwanza, jerkface.'
    I think that Japan actually pays people like Fred Gallagher to leave their country as soon as possible.


    • #3
      /chuckle | Real ID: email @ | Steam: ciarin7


      • #4
        Feed the Tonberries to the Rancor Monster? (or am I getting that reference wrong?)

        You should send an e-mail to Square, along the lins of, "I think the Tonberries are really entertaining, or "cool", to watch." *grin*
        Nosferatu (of Everlore)
        aka Erobate of Tunare
        Member of Elidor


        • #5
          *cheers* Tonberries!

          In previous FF games, they were too cute and seemingly harmless as they creep up to you, only to bust out the can o' whoopass on your spikey-haired party. They made them look a little more menacing, and dare I say it... Gollum-like... in FFXI.


          • #6
            Llandra Icefyre RETIRED My LiveJournal


            • #7
              lol woody great comic but
              your post made it better


              • #8

                Love the Tonberries!

                Mean little things, and I really do mean that. Nasty horrible, wicked, yet terribly cute little things. Even when they kill me in one shot in every one of their incarnations.
                We should think about... what we got right now,
                \'Cause the good things are made up of time.
                Smile to your problems, leave the past behind.
                Never forget this.
                - Eiffel 65, \"Now is Forever\"


                • #9
                  They're not full of hatred, just misunderstood.

                  though oddly enough i can actually picture conversations between the other tonberrys.
                  OMG! i\'m finally back around.


                  • #10
                    Tonberries were the scariest critters in any FF...

                    Tonberry: *steps forward*
                    Me: "Oh no, attack! Attack!"
                    Tonberry: *step sideway*
                    Me: "Phew, some time. Die!"
                    Tonberry: *steps forward*
                    Me: "Ahhhhh! Back off! Die!"
                    Tonberry: *steps forward*
                    Me: "... Uhoh"
                    Tonberry: "Doink!"

                    I never pictured them as angsty though. I though they were just cute little creatures with a lantern that enjoyed poking people real hard.

                    Nice comic


                    • #11
                      I actually saw the "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King" last night when it opened.. And OMFG it was awsome. The end was such a tease.. just when you thought they were going to end the movie right there.. And without giving anything away.. If they had ended it right where it looked like they would.. ppl woulda been pissed.. ehehe .. But they show alot about what happens when they all go home and etc..

                      But all in all.. I loved the movie.. I also loved that the Dwarf and Elf are still counting how many they kill... But thier is one scene that is gonna make you laugh your head off .. And it is tied into thier counting thing.. eheh.. You'll see..

                      Final Thought.. GO SEE LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING!

                      You will be happy you did..

                      P.S. It just so happens that the ppl i sat in front of, were all EQ and AD&D players.. So you can imagine the conversations before the movie started.. hehe
                      63 Halfling Anklebiter
                      Devout Follower of Karana
                      Guild Memeber of Exiled Knights
                      Rodcet Nife


                      • #12
                        Tonberries!!! ahhh memories...when they were only're 3 dimensions of pure evvvvvil........hehehe
                        i r teh leet n00b!


                        • #13
                          Damn Glad i am way to low a level to get to Elshimo, I can't stand "rancor", but they are almost as cute as my TaruTaru
                          Eon, 55 Troll Shaman, Psy 26 Orc Hunter - DoomHammer
                          Tempus 43 Orc Shaman, Eon 28 Troll Mage - Laughing Skull
                          Brennan - 44 Dwarf Priest - Daggerspine


                          • #14
                            Can ya guess the name of the zone in which all the tonberries live?

                            Thats right........"Rancors Den"

                            which I find odd since its so big and tonberries are so........wee. lol
                            Crunchy Bits


                            • #15
                              Heh Rancor's Den.

                              I can picture the Rancor from Star Wars sitting in a well appointed room, in a big burgandy armchair with a pipe and a book. Soft classical music is playing on an old victrola. Then from the next room he hears the big creeky door leading to Jabba's dungeon start to open.

                              Exasperated, he marks his place in his book, set it down, and lays his pipe in the ash tray.

                              He fixes a snarl on his face and drools a bit. . .

                              "Showtime!" He says to himself as he heads into the pit.

                              Good comic Woody, I like your exchange between the Tonberries too. That made me laugh out loud.
                              If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.